Can You Share Your Experiences with LGBT Couple Tenants?

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Can You Share Your Experiences with LGBT Couple Tenants?

Kevin Kim
Member since 2022 · 58 posts · 10 votes

Hello everyone,

Sometimes, we have prospective tenants who are LGBT couples. Since I am not very familiar with their experiences and perspectives, I would love to hear from those of you who have had interactions or experiences with LGBT tenants. Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

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JD MartinBusiness Member
Moderator
Rock Star Extraordinaire · Northeast, TN · Member since 2015 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes
2y
Quote from @Kevin Kim:

Hello everyone,

Sometimes, we have prospective tenants who are LGBT couples. Since I am not very familiar with their experiences and perspectives, I would love to hear from those of you who have had interactions or experiences with LGBT tenants. Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

 I don't even know how to answer this question. The only thing you really need to know as a landlord:

1. Is the rent paid in full on time, every time?

2. Is your property being damaged through negligence or willful destruction?

3. Are your tenants causing you, the neighbors, or the police any problems?

Beyond that, why would the makeup of their family status matter?

In any case, to answer your question: I have rented several times to lesbian couples and once to several gay guys. The lesbian couples were nice but somewhat slovenly and the gay guys were relatively neat. I doubt their sexual orientation made any difference on how they kept house. All of them paid the rent on time and didn't destroy the property and were generally pleasant to interact with and it never made any difference to me what they were. 

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  • JD MartinBusiness Member
    Moderator
    Rock Star Extraordinaire · Northeast, TN · Member since 2015 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes
    2y
    Quote from @Kevin Kim:

    Hello everyone,

    Sometimes, we have prospective tenants who are LGBT couples. Since I am not very familiar with their experiences and perspectives, I would love to hear from those of you who have had interactions or experiences with LGBT tenants. Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated!

    Thank you!

     I don't even know how to answer this question. The only thing you really need to know as a landlord:

    1. Is the rent paid in full on time, every time?

    2. Is your property being damaged through negligence or willful destruction?

    3. Are your tenants causing you, the neighbors, or the police any problems?

    Beyond that, why would the makeup of their family status matter?

    In any case, to answer your question: I have rented several times to lesbian couples and once to several gay guys. The lesbian couples were nice but somewhat slovenly and the gay guys were relatively neat. I doubt their sexual orientation made any difference on how they kept house. All of them paid the rent on time and didn't destroy the property and were generally pleasant to interact with and it never made any difference to me what they were. 

    Podcast Guest on Show #243
    Skyline Properties
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  • Chris SeveneyBusiness Member
    Moderator
    Investor · VA · Member since 2015 · 21k+ posts · 19k+ votes
    2y

    @Kevin Kim

    As mentioned - I give zero effs to how others live their life and care about how they are as a tenant. Peoples sexual or religious preferences are none of my business but do they follow the terms of the lease is what I am concerned with.

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  • Nathan GesnerBusiness Member
    Moderator
    Real Estate Broker · Cody, WY · Member since 2010 · 28k+ posts · 41k+ votes
    2y

    I agree with the others. I don't care about someone's color, religion, sexual proclivities, their stance on green energy, political affiliation, etc.

    I want people that pay rent on time, take care of the property, and communicate when needed. Other than that, I want to stay out of their lives and let them enjoy the home they are paying for.

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  • Mary Smith
    Rental Property Investor · Member since 2021 · 384 posts · 197 votes
    2y

    @Kevin Kim How does their sexual orientation matter when it comes to renting? I'm really trying hard to understand.

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  • Bill B.
    Investor · Las Vegas, NV · Member since 2013 · 8k+ posts · 10k+ votes
    2y

    How would you know? I have several rentals occupied by 2-4 adults of the same sex. I have no idea if they are friends, relatives, or lovers. How would I know? I don’t know and I don’t care. Honestly I don’t even know if they’d be more or less likely to all stay through the end of a lease if they were friends, married/lovers or relatives.  

    You are definitely having a blessed landlording experience if this is even on your mind. 

    Next question…

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  • Doug Smith
    Lender · Tampa, FL · Member since 2013 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    2y

    Yes...they sacrifice children at midnight and worship the devil (sarcastic voice). Not meaning to be rude, but the fact you asked that question as a landlord is not only irrelevant and offensive to a lot of really great people, but it violates about 50 Fair Housing Laws and Statutes. I'm not sure if you're seriously asking that question or your trying to punk us to stir the pot. 

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  • Andrew B.
    Rockaway, NJ · Member since 2016 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    2y

    Take this post down before more people see how ignorant you are.

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  • Peter W.
    Member since 2020 · 351 posts · 329 votes
    2y

    It turns out they are people, just like the rest of us.

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  • Marci Stein
    Rental Property Investor · New York, NY · Member since 2011 · 956 posts · 510 votes
    2y

    I would not rent to them because next they’ll be having sex with animals and 

    and before you know it ,

    there will be a whole house full of dogs.
    (joking , of course!).

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  • Kevin Kim
    OP
    Member since 2022 · 58 posts · 10 votes
    2y

    Thank you for your reply. 

    I totally agree with you. If I were someone who discriminates based on gender, I wouldn’t need to ask this question. 

    We have already decided to rent our house to them. 

    However, because we don’t have much experience with this matter, are relatively new to being landlords, and come from a different culture, we wanted to understand if there are any particular considerations we should be aware of.

    I heard that it is illegal to ask about religion, national origin, and other personal information when we talk with tenants, even if we don’t have any bad intentions or discriminatory purposes. So, I just wanted to know if there is anything we need to be aware of when we communicate with them, etc.

    I’m sorry if my ignorance made you uncomfortable.

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  • Timothy Hero
    Lender · United States · Member since 2020 · 1k+ posts · 499 votes
    2y

    I use BP to escape from social media and the politics, lol.

    I honestly don't see a world where anything would be different than any other type of tenant.

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  • Alecia LovelessPro Member
    Member since 2019 · 3k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    2y

    @Kevin Kim I’ve had great success with tenants of alternative lifestyles from my own. Whether this is a difference in religion, sexual orientation, or culture.

    I make sure to keep the same rental criteria for everyone including credit requirements, eviction history, and criminal records to name a few. Obviously if these are protected classes in your jurisdiction ignore.

    The only tenants that have given me any pause have been a couple of units that I have rented to extremely young couples with no prior rental histories. Occasionally I have to give them some guidance on how to be good tenants and neighbors and the expectations I have for my tenants. The youngsters are all doing well and paying on time and I’m helping them learn how to be good adults which is nice.

    I’d recommend that you just be yourself around the tenants from other backgrounds than yours and focus on being consistent with them.

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  • Mike Dymski
    Investor · Greenville, SC · Member since 2016 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
    2y

    Culture is a human construct.  It's made up.  It varies by geographic location and varies in the same geographic locations over time.

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  • Marcus Auerbach
    Investor · Milwaukee - Mequon, WI · Member since 2010 · 5k+ posts · 7k+ votes
    2y

    You really need to brush up on landlord-tenant law and specifically on fair housing law. Not knowing the law does not exempt you from it.

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  • Colleen F.Pro Member
    Investor · Narragansett, RI · Member since 2013 · 8k+ posts · 4k+ votes
    2y

    @Kevin Kim    The biggest issue is with NEW co-renters regardless of orientation. Not saying its bad just sometimes more drama. 

    Things to know but I hope never come up for you is domestic violence laws apply regardless of relationship, even just roommates cops should enforce them but they don't always do so.

    I expected some negativity from other units but haven't seen any. 

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  • Carini Rochester
    Investor · Rochester, NY · Member since 2016 · 576 posts · 358 votes
    2y

    I thought this was a great question. I didn't find it offensive at all. It certainly generated some interesting and fun to read dialog.

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  • Dan H.Pro Member
    Investor · Poway, CA · Member since 2015 · 7k+ posts · 8k+ votes
    2y

    I had 2 instances that I am aware of. I suspect more that I was unaware of.  It is not something that the LL needs to know.

    First was a gay male living with straight female.  They were awesome tenants but a set of neighbors had issue.  Crazy as that seems in this era and in CA.  The neighbors threatened our tenant.  Police were called who did nothing.  I was remote so wife had to deal with this mess.  If I was here things would have played out different.   We let tenant break their lease early with no repercussions.  We did not want to force them to live near bigoted neighbors.  Too bad as they were outstanding tenants in every way (their unit appeared owner occupied nice, rent always on time, easy to deal with). 

    2nd was married couple with a trans female and birth female.  When they got married the trans female was a male and they had a child together.  It happens this couple were moving into same unit by the same bigoted neighbors as the above case so I warned them of catholic area and potentially bigoted neighbors.  The neighbors had less issue with the trans female than they had with the gay male.  She was bigger than they were which could have played a role.  They happened to be poor tenants when it came to taking care of the place.

    The tenant quality is unrelated to LGBTQ.  In my jurisdiction, LGBTQ is a protected class.  Unfortunately there can be bigoted neighbors which can add some turmoil. Note this is not the fault of the LGBTQ tenants.  The bigots are the problem. 

    If they meet the qualifications to rent the unit, you rent them the unit.  Anything else is bigoted and wrong.  

    Good luck

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  • V.G JasonPro Member
    Investor · Member since 2022 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    2y

    I have more tenants than 99% of this board and have 0 knowledge  of their sexual preferences or identities. I mind my business. These questions are just asked to incite. 

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  • JD MartinBusiness Member
    Moderator
    Rock Star Extraordinaire · Northeast, TN · Member since 2015 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes
    2y
    Quote from @Dan H.:

    I had 2 instances that I am aware of. I suspect more that I was unaware of.  It is not something that the LL needs to know.

    First was a gay male living with straight female.  They were awesome tenants but a set of neighbors had issue.  Crazy as that seems in this era and in CA.  The neighbors threatened our tenant.  Police were called who did nothing.  I was remote so wife had to deal with this mess.  If I was here things would have played out different.   We let tenant break their lease early with no repercussions.  We did not want to force them to live near bigoted neighbors.  Too bad as they were outstanding tenants in every way (their unit appeared owner occupied nice, rent always on time, easy to deal with). 

    2nd was married couple with a trans female and birth female.  When they got married the trans female was a male and they had a child together.  It happens this couple were moving into same unit by the same bigoted neighbors as the above case so I warned them of catholic area and potentially bigoted neighbors.  The neighbors had less issue with the trans female than they had with the gay male.  She was bigger than they were which could have played a role.  They happened to be poor tenants when it came to taking care of the place.

    The tenant quality is unrelated to LGBTQ.  In my jurisdiction, LGBTQ is a protected class.  Unfortunately there can be bigoted neighbors which can add some turmoil. Note this is not the fault of the LGBTQ tenants.  The bigots are the problem. 

    If they meet the qualifications to rent the unit, you rent them the unit.  Anything else is bigoted and wrong.  

    Good luck

    Are you sure your name is Dan H and not Mr. Roper? 😂

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  • Jonathan Weinberger
    Member since 2023 · 74 posts · 134 votes
    2y

    weird question. Who gives a ****. Are they paying rent on time? 


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  • Ned J.Pro Member
    Investor · Manteca, CA · Member since 2017 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    2y

    Wow..... just wow... sexual orientation has ZERO to do with ANY criteria I use to rent to anyone.... none of my damn business. Pay the rent, take good care of the property and be easy to deal with. Other than that I dont give an F who you sleep with

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  • Doug Smith
    Lender · Tampa, FL · Member since 2013 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    2y
    Quote from @Kevin Kim:

    Thank you for your reply. 

    I totally agree with you. If I were someone who discriminates based on gender, I wouldn’t need to ask this question. 

    We have already decided to rent our house to them. 

    However, because we don’t have much experience with this matter, are relatively new to being landlords, and come from a different culture, we wanted to understand if there are any particular considerations we should be aware of.

    I heard that it is illegal to ask about religion, national origin, and other personal information when we talk with tenants, even if we don’t have any bad intentions or discriminatory purposes. So, I just wanted to know if there is anything we need to be aware of when we communicate with them, etc.

    I’m sorry if my ignorance made you uncomfortable.


     It's not that what you asked makes people uncomfortable. What you asked violates the law by simply asking what you asked. You may not have ill intent and you might not feel that you're discriminating, but in the eyes of the law, you did with the initial question you asked and doubled down with this response. I don't think you're a bad person nor do I think you mean to be discriminatory, but regulators will see your posts as evidence of discrimination. I've always thought that the annual Fair Housing training we always had to take in banks was stupid and almost insulting to our intelligence, but after seeing your post, I would highly recommend seeking out and taking courses on Fair Housing, ADA, and other relevant real estate-related regulatory courses. I wish you well, but you might want to consider taking down this post. 

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  • Sarita ScherpereelBusiness Member
    Real Estate Agent · Chicago, IL · Member since 2018 · 659 posts · 376 votes
    2y

    I'm pretty shocked by this question. These are people just like everyone else. This small minded questioning gives landlords a bad reputation.  Their sexual orientation makes no difference on how they will be as tenants. As Fair Housing laws indicate. 

    Love is love. I hope you see more of the world to know that. 

    HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE! 

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  • Melanie P.Pro Member
    Rental Property Investor · Member since 2023 · 1k+ posts · 922 votes
    2y
    Quote from @Kevin Kim:

    Thank you for your reply. 

    I totally agree with you. If I were someone who discriminates based on gender, I wouldn’t need to ask this question. 

    We have already decided to rent our house to them. 

    However, because we don’t have much experience with this matter, are relatively new to being landlords, and come from a different culture, we wanted to understand if there are any particular considerations we should be aware of.

    I heard that it is illegal to ask about religion, national origin, and other personal information when we talk with tenants, even if we don’t have any bad intentions or discriminatory purposes. So, I just wanted to know if there is anything we need to be aware of when we communicate with them, etc.

    I’m sorry if my ignorance made you uncomfortable.

    What makes you think they are LGBT? If you asked, you shouldn't have. It's a protected class. If you didn't ask, there's no way for you to know what they are, you shouldn't care and ought to treat them like anyone else. Our lease only uses the pronouns Landlord and Tenant.

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  • Chris John
    Member since 2020 · 671 posts · 937 votes
    2y

    Here goes me committing BP suicide, I think.

    My "lawyer", chatgpt, claims that no laws were broken.  Right or wrong, I believe it over internet randos claiming to know this law.  It's being claimed that it's illegal to ask third parties questions now?  Seems really, really unlikely to be true.  I suspect those laws have more to do with how you treat people directly.

    I have no issues with people's sexual preferences.  However, I do have an issue with the current climate and culture relating to people's sexual preferences.  So, I'm being told on the same thread to not notice people's sexual preferences, while, at the same time being asked to celebrate "pride" month?  Which is it?  Do I notice or do I not?  And, I can't even ask about it?  Seems ridiculous.

    And, to answer the question, I've had two lesbian couples that both got married while they rented from us.  One couple has been with us for 15 years and are probably the best tenants we've had.  The other couple left the place a mess. 

    In the end, treat everyone well (including people asking for clarification on things that they admit to being ignorant of).

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