You've got a LOT on your plate and only you can judge the family dynamic that you'll be working within but IMO you want someone you can dictate to and expect them to fully comply; if they don't they get replaced.  

The market is going to dictate what the typical percentage of purchase price you can reasonably get per month.

If we want to use private funds for the other 20%, does this have to be approved by the 1st lender (Local bank in this case), and would they dictate the terms or are we able to negotiate that with our second lender. 

Can a majority owner dictate any rules about specific things you can do with your unit?

Andrea,, I would suggest you find a very good HML and let them place your first deals.. your knowledge base based on your questions dictates you should have some mentoring first then try your own.

Size of the house will dictate construction time.

The market dictates everything, including the rehab...but especially it decides, before you start lookingat properties, what market to invest in...or more important, which markets to NOT invest in.Once you find the right market(s), then you need to find the micromarkets within that market...and there are usually many.

Either of you could will your half to whoever you want, but if the deceased didn't have a will, state law dictates who inherits their half, either the remaining spouse or other heirs.Community property doesn't automatically become the remaining spouse's property when one passes away.Maybe Google Community Property in New Mexico for more info.Cheers!

They will have a formula or zoning codes that will dictate how many apartments can be on the property without a variance.

I also want to be able to decide when I want to go to work instead of being dictated when I should go to work.