"-------------------------------------------------You are being utterly unrealistic, to the point of being a unicorn hunter.Remember the old stock picker's choice: High growth, High safety, and High dividends -- Choose two.

To think I'm a vampire because appreciation is a secondary consideration is utter nonsense.

People don't realize how utterly exhausting it is to convince an owner to do the right and needed thing when it's clear as day to everyone else.

You should NEVER, EVER, utter the words, "what do I do next". 

I presume it will initially just get dropped into whatever checking account I specify... my plan had always been to invest it in a couple of slightly-aggressive mutual funds and let it coast there (we don't immediately need the money for anything), but given the utter collapse in all stocks *and* bonds since beginning of year, there's no real way to select a desirable investment option at this point...So what other options are available for dealing with this situation??

I don’t know you but I’m sorry to say I call that complete and utter bs.On your point about the ford pickups, if I want one bad enough to go into the dealership and pay $35k over msrp, I am well within my rights to do exactly that.

I doubt I make nearly enough to be approved for a loan of that sizeAlso unless there's some financial voodoo that I don't know about I don't think 3.5% is going to get me squat, my realtor here has informed that if you can't bring a minimum of 20% down and a pre-approved loan to the table then your offer won't even be heard, people are snatching up $500k homes in straight cash the market is utterly insane here and shows no signs of slowing down, pretty sure I entirely missed my window to buy in Austin

I didn't have any equity when we split up, the divorce left me $18k in the hole, and I was utterly defeated about the situation.

I didn't have any equity when we split up, the divorce left me $18k in the hole, and I was utterly defeated about the situation.

It is utterly ridiculous.