On my cards to sellers I keep it simple: I BUY HOUSES FOR CASHDIVORCE,UGLY,UNWANTED,UNNEEDED, ANY CONDITIONNAME:PHONE#EMAIL: & on my cards to investorsI have more information explaining my business my contact info and my name. 

I'm usually a thank you for calling me I'll be glad to take you off the list if you don't really want to be on it, and by your calling me you will save me money on postage and you won't have to receive any more unwanted mail, so again let me thank you for taking the time to call  me, so if I could have the address you want removed from the list I will do it right away.

Sometimes an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.It is unfortunate that you lost this deal, but knowing your closing costs and who will be paying for them is very important and should be spelled out in your contract.

Penny wise pound foolish.

We have take 1,000 pounds to the dump so far, I think we have a couple more to go.

That's one reason I'm not a huge fan of letters with no branding or identity.(2) This point builds on #1 in that often newer investors seem unaware that their competitors are pounding the same lists, and also seem surprised when they send out their first two mailings with lackluster results.

There's no visible evidence, aside from the 42 pound bag of cat litter.I did some research and found I can photograph urine stains if I illuminate them with a UV light. 

I live in the basement unit of a house and I rent out the upstairs to skinny young adults and if you heard the stomping around that I hear you would be convinced they are all 300+ pounds upstairs. 

And that full grown Labs are over 20 pounds? 

I'd tell them to pound sand, personally.