:pissed: Any advice outside of simply telling the agents to "pound sand"?

However, the most attractive upside is the potential currency gain due against the currently weak British pound.

Markets are getting pounded.

As for me, I've decided to gain 30 pounds for the summit.

The only factor that I should clarify is that I would use cash on hand to add that additional bedroom (and remove an undesirable tenant), which I hope would add something to that valuation — I've read the 11% range is not unreasonable (*please comment on this, anyone who's done this before).

There is no guarantee they will assess you at this but Hamilton County is not stupid and with real estate values going through the roof you can bet the county is coming for their pound of flesh.

I'm most worried that I am thinking too much "inside the box" which has me pounding my head against the bank's door when I should be nowhere near the bank.  

"Skin in the game," refers to your "pound of flesh" that you're willing to put into the deal to make sure that it succeeds.What the lenders are looking for is, what are you willing to put into the deal to make sure that you don't just walk away when the going gets tough.Usually this refers to a down payment of at least 10-40%.  

However, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Different strokes for different folks.I take it you're aware your friend is more than a bit of a fool and he's going to end up with 100 pounds of concrete down a stack from a disgruntled young admirer of Karl Marx one day.