I do not mean to sound harsh, as RE has changed my life and I fully believe in it.

Quote from @Paul Merriwether: @Jay Hinrichs Predatory is pretty harsh.

They sell chemicals at the local Home Depot that gets that stuff off.

That is a harsh reality every wholesaler has to face sooner or later..

We service everything ourselves (because we're cheap right now--please don't judge us too harshly).

The larger unit will have higher maintenance/cap ex even with coastal environments being harsh on some items.I suspect your expense estimates are far too low especially if you kept the BP calculator default percentages.  

Of course this would be harsh on the current owner, but this process is bad enough that it discourages participation which would result in lower prices (if there were not inside buyers).BTW drones are handy on virtually all properties. 

There is an old service road behind it where they had to bring hazmat in, to clean up barrels of chemicals. 

This is the harsh reality (at least for me) to get where you want to be.

NONE of these "ands" is a guarantee so it mathematically is incorrect to call it a numbers game.it is NOT a numbers game.The harsh reality of the matter is you need to think, and stop accepting opinions from others just because you want them to be true.