Builders Beige/neutral colours only, nothing decretive. 

We're hard money lenders, and this situation sounds delicate.

This can sometimes expedite the process and save you the hassle of legal proceedings.Lastly, remember that tenant situations like these can be delicate, so handle communications professionally and document all interactions with both parties.

Thought about doing hard oak core and cheaper doors myself as some tenants aren't always delicate and i understand the do it right the first time.

They will affect what you can and can't do and will affect the home you build (ie exterior finish, landscaping, colour, etc).

2) Balancing Upgrades/Capital Expenditures (CapEx) Against Over-Investment:This is indeed a delicate balance.

If I do send a letter or text… what might be the most delicate way to ask a long time tenant like him to leave???

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Most likely you have a tenant that just wants to break the lease without penalty BUT any health or safety concerns must be taken seriously and treated delicately. 

I have, but I have a say in the colour (ie they give me options to choose from) and it needs to be professionally done.