From what you've said so far, I don't think we can properly judge whether you have a generous mentor or someone trying to take advantage of a less-experienced investor.What's your expected ARV?

If one can afford to put a deserving person or family in one of their rentals and keep the rent below market, it is a kind and generous thing.

Have been amazed at how generously people share insights and ideas.

I want to replace my husbands truck driving income because his health is getting really bad and he may not be able to work at driving much longer.I want to be able to hire good tutors for my children.I want to be able to give generously to help other people.

@Marc Pfleger I think 1200.00 (0.66%) is a kind gesture on your part given the agent wasn't involved at all.  

Your challenges will be two-fold:Finding REI friendly lender local to you, in your state.Finding a deal good enough to make up for the fact that the math isn't as generous with owner occupied 2-4 unit properties as it is with pure investment properties.

Be kind and generous to them and they'll want to stay. 

People in government offices often have to deal with not so friendly people and that kind of gesture will often go a long way; just being nice, polite, and showing some gratitude will go a long way.

I've email blasted generous commission carrots to all the local DBs and PMs but have been completely ignored.

After talking to our pool guy, losing the 5 feet in the backyard will required a major redesign of the backyard and would work best if we could get an automatic pool cover (wont go into the reasons but I agree with him)The builder originally offered us 10K as a good faith gesture (original purchase price was ~$750K) or would fully refund our purchase.