and I'm still sitting here trying to figure out how I can classify all my income as tips.

Now the customer is paying a crew to sit there ( that can get expensive) .What @Bill Kramer says is true .

I hope you or someone is at least keeping an eye on your properties for break ins, squatters, roof leaks, temperature control, frozen pipes (if in cold climate), if you have a basement and sump pump goes out leading to water damage etc.I just talked to two investors in California that have let their properties sit vacant (no mortgages so paying property taxes and insurance).

Good neighborhoods, excellent schools, and literally--where does the house I want sit in the actual neighborhood...I say does it look like a $650K house area when I'm done?

If there isn’t anything that you can think of, most likely your property will sit on the market as well.

I don't want to sit back and collect, I'm always hungry for more knowledge and never satiated.

And also you sit down with your lender in person etc..

There is a saying in business, "If you're sitting at the poker table for more than 15 minutes and you don't know who the patsy is, you're the patsy."

The folks sitting there watching this guy drive a truck through fake rush hour traffic (oh no, this wasn't an "action" game, it was a "simulation," very realistic) for hours on end?

They look like they are sitting on wooden piers and not on a slab or perimeter foundation.As far as lenders are concerned, that could impact the financing.