(2 BR 2 BA for $1115/mo) She found out b/c her son got sick and she had to take him to the hospital with breathing issues, fever, and throwing up.Very long story short… all they've done is call Orkin and have the place bombed and sprayed and everything else has just been words.

When people talk about buying down to a lower rate, that is the cost to buy the lower rate.I'm saying, if the rate you're looking for has a .5% or more cost to it, then don't hold your breath on the market moving enough to make it a zero cost (par) rate.

I yell and swear at myself and breathe heavy and make noise in the gym when lifting which seems to make me happy.

I also wouldn't worry too much about  having some 'dead' equity right now either - that might actually be the breathing room needed later.And tof beat the dead horse some more: your expenses now are pretty much zero, which is what we would all expect.

As far as I know, FANNIE and FREDDIE will only buy/guarantee 30 yr fixed rate awesome residential loans for live people that breathe air.  

So, as long as they are able to meet that 2-3x income requirement, nothing too damning on credit, and they have a stable rental history - I wouldn't hold my breath for an applicant making 6 figures with an 800 credit score.Being cautious is never a bad thing in the leasing process, but you want to be sure you're also being realistic.Also, as @Nicholas Baughman pointed out, it appears as though you've forgotten to factor in a few expenses.

First thing I'd say is breathe-- it was probably a drug deal gone wrong, or a rival gang, I dunno, but I doubt he's out getting people right/left just because.     

Contact a real estate management company and have them deal with the tenants, repairs since you live there will be your responsibility, but the management company will ensure payment, eviction if necessary... gives you breathing room to do other things 

The problem isn’t the tiles, it’s the dust that occurs when they are broken or pulled up, that dust gets everywhere and your tenants end up breathing it in 6 months later from a duct you didn’t cover or a doorframe that wasn’t cleaned well enough.

I’m going to have to take a deep breath and dive into this - one way or another the rent does have to go up.