The bottom tenant's noises and smells (eg cooking) come up to top floor.

I do spend quite a bit on cooking the book.

I am near cook county, which is where Chicago is located.

After shelters they live 6 dishwashers, maids and cooks to a one bedroom.

Cook .

I'm pretty sure there are Desi groups wanting to buy a setup like that, they've told me that much and plenty of money on the sidelines looking to invest.The last two set of funders that come to mind are some of your big Pride supporters ...maybe Chip Conley, maybe Peter Theil, maybe Tim Cook, people like that...I'm sure there are a million others. 

What that really means that I can't claim the suite as a separate apartment (a.k.a. not a duplex); I could not add a range/oven for cooking.

Imagine if you brought @Jennifer Cook-DeRosa a $5M warehouse owner, who wants to sell, on a silver platter.

They auction properties for Cook County.

These generally don't require as much infrastructure from the county (septic instead of sanitary sewer, usually no stormwater systems required), and I sell them to consumers wishing to build their own homes on enough acreage to have vegetable gardens, chicken coops, etc.