That said, let's talk about the alleged sticking points: a heated drive in a colder climate is DEFINITELY attractive (...says my aging but stubborn snow-shoveling body in New England.)

If you bury the body deep enough, you probably won't get caught." hahaha. 

However, I'm not sure if the seller's submitted contract will allow me to do so, although there is nothing within the body of the contract itself that mentions anything binding me from doing so and my seller is absolutely fine with the idea of me assigning my interest elsewhere.

I've talked to my title person, county assessor, real estate attorney, and any body else I think may know what to do, and no one has been able to give me any advice that I can act on.

Have any body had any experience with this?

I like this route because I can see their body language, and its easier to gauge the tone of their voice.

Is this a really high crime area where the police just collect the bodies?

But I do want to take this seriously as I don’t plan on scaling skyscrapers and beating my body to death until I’m 60 years old.

I will keep that in mind when investing near a body of water, I'm sure there is some kind of insurance to cover hurricane damage?

HOA in theory can remove free rider market failure if well managed, when there are costs and/or needs for management shared by all.HOA kind of philosophically touches on the oft debated (and oft oversimplified) ideological debate between centralization or decentralization of authorityMy thesis would be: I suspect that HOA developments have higher property values in general, however when controlled for development budget on a per home basis, I would wonder if this actually holds up over time.I have heard anecdotal stories of corruption within HOA bodies, and mismanagement.