She is probably completely acidic, which is fueling the fire.

It depends on the subfloor.If I have clean concrete (not too much adhesive, paint etc) I do stained concrete (acid first then marbleize with acrylic)If I have concrete which cannot be stained I tile.

We used boric acid ( my dads suggestion) and made a perimeter around the yard extents, then half way between the house and yard, and finally at the basement walls of the house.

You cant carry an acid test kit and drill around with you to drill and test every payment you receive.

My understanding is that effectiveness is due in part to the acidic vinegar having a neutralizing effect on the alkaline urine. 

Another option is to hire a specialist company that will paint your tile after acid etching so the paint adheres.  

It appears to be a caustic soda or acid. 

A combination HEPA/Acid gas may be more appropriate.

You went on with a physics soliloquy on why an island would not tip over based on a premise (an island tipping over) that can only be described as a congressional acid trip.

Around here, the acid test on a septic field is the hydraulic load test...they put a specified volume of water (based on BR count because systems are sized/designed based on BRs) and measure the water level in the field following the specified input.