Have you positioned yourself and did all the things you have control over to begin your journey?  

I'm pretty sure the note holder isn't rushing to foreclose or it would be done by now.I have the means get her current but how can i take control of the property, get her name off the title but keep the same terms with note holder.  

While the above-referenced items identify what is customarily required by Servicer to support a Loan Assumption request, Seller and Buyer acknowledge and agree that the terms, provisions and conditions of the documents governing the loan(s) to be assumed will ultimately control, including, without limitation, transfer fees and costs, release language, legal opinions and the documentation required to evidence the Loan Assumption.

Has anyone looked at buying RE via a self directed IRA vs cashing out the IRA, paying the penalty and putting funds into a business account and having full control of funds Immediately?

A bad relationship with one of these folks can really put a damper on your projects - take control - you are the final decision maker when it comes to spending your money to make money.Never give a deposit up front - pay contractor in stages as work is progressing.

Taps can also be bought and sold but sometimes the entity serving the water controls it more and in doing so reduces the value. 

If you perform the repair personally, you have to be reasonable in charging fair market rate. eg. if it takes 1 hr of your labor for some handyman's work, $20-30/hr is reasonable, even you're probably paid much more in your own line of work.My suggestion is to first fire the PM who obviously wanted to skim some profit by inflating the repair cost while exposing you to lawsuits (remember you're in CA - a blue state and San Jose - a city with rent control).

This is exasperated by the fact that these apartments are rent controlled (they phase out on vacancy), so their rents are well below market even for the shape they are in.

Life changes sometimes happen and that's when you've got to change into damage-control mode and leave the emotions behind with the sole goal of getting them out asap.

One major appeal is that real estate is a tangible asset that you can physically control as opposed to the the stock market where we have 0% influence on our investments.