My options are Make offer stipulation I can get financingWait and hope it doesn't sell and remake 40k offer with owner financingObtain private loan (already tried family and friends, all too risk averse and uneducated) make low cash offerFriend of a friend put me in touch with some bigwig hard money lender with a legit company.

The Placards (which stipulate the hazardous conditions) remain on the property until I have made sufficient repairs or improvements as to qualify for a new certificate of occupancy. 

Maybe they are, maybe they aren't....which is why I stipulated that number in my original post.

With the zero down and the only stipulations being move in ready and in a rural area we were set.

The only stipulation is that if you want your guarantee back a third time you have to sell off all those doors (which is when I’d 1031 into a larger multi family).

I am purchasing a SFR from an auction site with 30 day closing (stipulated in the contract).  

Nice write-up, thank you @Alex Babayev.A question - when you make an offer with "no inspections" stipulation, does it mean you wave due diligence altogether or do you still have due diligence but the offer is not contingent on its results?

Stipulate the "no roommate" clause in your lease, then wait until it becomes  a problem before worrying about it. 

But for the sale of them you could write up a bill of sale and stipulate language around the title being provided within a certain number of days (e.g. 180).Without knowing the specifics of the state you're operating, I'd have to suggest you have an attorney prep the first one for you, and then you can repeat the process accordingly. 

Owner is willing to carry the note at 0% for 20 years with the stipulation that they are able to live rent free.Owner wants 30K upfront, $2000/mo and live rent free for 20 years.I ran this through the BP rental calculator and obviously the CoC ROI is horrible (-2700/mo PITIA).