I realize that in your mind the comments you made were probably related to the discussion (and I'm sure that will be your argument for why you made them), but any rational person reading this thread would clearly determine that your comments were out-of-place and questionable.

Find out why you are being turned down, is it for lack of previous credit, debt to income rations, credit scores, declared income or lack of reserves?

I tried to rationalize that if I don't buy the building, someone else would and they would have done the same thing.

Technically you can currently get an FHA loan with a 600 credit score and 60% debt to income ration.

One must have a good ear to listen.And be rational to make a rational decision  when applying for a loan.

Rational people don't give away $200,000 just to get someone to help them refinance.

Bought equity is dead money.You can rationalize that you gained the rest of the equity with it, but you still bought it for $35k. 

@Mindi Rosser It sounds like you may need an upgrade, but please do not rationalize an expensive new car purchase just because you will be an agent.

You're correct, and it all comes into play at the very beginning, when you analyze...and don't rationalize. 

@Shez B.If the OP refinances the home after he has reached >20% equity, then he could discharge the high-ration mortgage and place a standard mortgage in its place.