I want to establish a self-directed Solo 401K (not Roth).

We are different when it comes how and where each person wants to established their business.

Limited liability companies that have their sole members as a husband and wife that live in a non-community property state would be considered to be partnerships and not disregarded entities, in which case your banker is exactly correct.There are a couple of possibilities that you could discuss with your tax advisor.  

Do I need to establish certain facts or circumstances to make sure the facts are clear in the event of an audit later?

I want to establish an llc with my wife.

I am shopping for a new accountant/CPA/wealth advisor in the St Louis market.  

Then 2008 happened and as a realtor in his early 20s with no established business, I found employment elsewhere.

- What legal steps are prudent regarding a financial partnership with my girlfriend (We are planning to undertake this whole effort together)Who I feel I need to meet with: (This is not a solicitation, this is what I have taken away from "The ABC's of real estate Investment")- Lenders, I need to establish a lending partner who can advise me on my short term options and my long term strategic goals.- Real estate agents, I need to start getting in touch with the current state of the market, and start translating the theoretical book learning into practice. 

Establish the Heloc while it's still your primary. 

Versus networking with already established local brokers/others that work with investors.