So a banks not going to keep dishing out loans. 

Get basic cooking things--toaster, bender, set of dishes, pots and pan, mixing bowls, mixer, serving spoons, spatulas, flatware, etc.4. 

The current lease has no mention of dishes, etc.How do I:(1) Get the 8 dishes that are currently on my roof, off?

Paper Towels (two rolls) ($2-$3 bucks)Toilet Paper (4 pack) (for when moving people forget the basics during a move)Hand Soap ($1.79 I think)Dish Soap ($2.00 or less Dawn)I spent maybe $60 on all of it max.

I have been inside the apartment several times to pick up rent and to fix a bathroom fan and a jammed window on another occasion and every time the apartment smells there is a sink full of dirty dishes old food laying around and just overall dirty...

Two problems for them:1) This is late in the Tech Unicorn cycle so big Wall Street money starts wondering whether dishing out cash to money burning companies guarantees success.2) Real estate is not retail: their cash offer program means they would carry an inventory that exposes them to being wiped out if/when the market softens.

I do this while doing some mindless task like washing dishes (or when the kids are... being kids) and I want to keep "working" but can't use my hands or take notes.

Any large rehabs are separate, but this could allow you to stabilize your expected cashflow each month, since you won't have to dish out an unexpecte $250 each time someone's drain clogs up. 

Was the kitchen clean, any dirty dishes left on countertops or in the sink?

I would also take a date-stamped picture showing the satellite dish still on the roof.