I personally wouldn't go as far as to call them shady, but there's definitely been some fees and hurdles that weren't exactly laid out during the initial conversations and I'm in no way questioning your use of the description. 

To me, this would have never been the conversation a few years ago when rates were more comfortable for the average investor (likely 5% and below), but it is the reality we are in now!

Never engaged in conversation.

I didn't fully understand the conversation though, so let me ask specific question. 

I spoke with Laura Montz from Cogo at length (over 1 hour) and asked at the end of our conversation how much?

This is certainly text book and absolutely the proper way to analyze a deal.Im not sure what he owes on the home but based on the payment and the year it was bought and the fact that its 20 min from Austin im just going to throw out 500K for conversations sake.500K compounding annually at 3% for 5 years comes out to approx $578,000, and you have the loan paydown aspect as well obviously. 

There is also a facebook group called alabamahoacoa that has conversations about these universal issues.

If you tell him to quit you can find someone else but it would certainly be more as contractors dont like to start mid project like that and finish someone elses' work but its best that you have a more constructive conversation with him about his absence.

Probably because ADUs are ugly garage conversions or the property is undesirable or overvalued to begin with. 

There are enough turnkey providers that contribute on BP, I'm sure they would have a conversation with you.