Although Baselane doesn't have a formal app I find it very mobile friendly, I use it on both my iPhone and IPadI think Baselane has a slight edge over Stessa so I think I'll start with them and switch to Stessa if it's not working for me. 

I’d open a new note on my iPhone and start asking them questions about their home, which I made up on the spot.

Baselane doesn't currently have an app but I find most of the features that I am using (the banking, bookkeeping, and rent collection) features are mobile enabled and easy to use on my iPhone. 

When you shoot seven photos on your iPhone, you tell the guest you don't care.

I only say that because the pictures that you posted above look like iPhone pics. 

I can proudly say I did not spend lots of money on fancy ring tones, as I never answered my phone for unknown numbers (which you can actually set your iphone to send them to vm btw).I get calls constantly about people wanting to buy a property I have not owned in 5+ years as well. 

with a couple iPhone ones mixed in.

Take a video of the home with your iPhone.

I've seen rental units get leased with iPhone photos that have good lighting. 

The best thing 4chan people have ever been able to do was convincing dummies to microwave their iphones!