To be fair I wouldn't want to be in their shoes and give us a bad answer, I'd rather they be conservative.So here is my question.

If I were in your shoes I would not try to start my own thing but plug in with someone else doing it already, offer to work for minimum wage if you have to, because the benefits will be HUGE.  

Never done it myself, but that's what I would do in your shoes if you can survive off the minimal pay.

She needs to provide you a bill that details her charges, just like any other contractor would.If I were in your shoes, I would have to have a difficult conversation with your partner and possibly his wife, and talk about all the issues you've laid out here. 

You're doing a better job than I think most PM's would do, so I wouldn't hire it out if I were in your shoes.

And if I ever sell the house, I’d be stuck between the morality of posting tax record sq ft vs. losing value with appraised (real) sq ft.Anyone ever been in these shoes and actually negotiated a discount of some sort?

They may slap $1M down on the turnkey providers desk and take all the properties they can get for that and go about their business, all while still wearing a suit and very expensive shoes.

If you were in my shoes, would you continue to contribute to the 401K or not? 

I typically wear nice jeans and a polo with some clean shoes. 

I would love any feedback from people who are in my shoes now or who have been in them in the past on things or scenarios to consider before beginning this journey.