(Don't tell anyone but the answer is pretend you are me and you get leads... and women.. ugh sometimes even men... when that happens tell them you don't swing that way.. because they are relentless ...well if you do.. fly that flag high my brother!)

Mary we all know your a section 8 tenant pretending to be a landlord .

One last thought, I'm not going to pretend to understand Brexit and the Eurozone politics but have you considered diversifying your portfolio? 

The lender called me and asked if we were in fact still running it and I just played dumb and pretended I didn't know.

Your tenants are all looking at you saying, "What the heck is my pretend landlord doing skulking around on the street in that ridiculous ninja outfit?!"

Eventually.You can pretend that a cash flow is higher than it is but it will eventually catch up with you.

Your only (possible) way out of it would be to pretend you were gay, maybe, bring a guy over and make out with him in front of her.This story ends in what you might think of as an unexpected way.

.-- SebastienPS: I also have some ideas on how to improve the community situation which I put below, I don't pretend to have all solutions, let me know if you think some ideas below are worthy of consideration.The city should offer help and advice and counseling to all new mothers (family planning) and people in real difficulty, eviction or homelessness is a very real difficulty, so is domestic violence.

Owners will look at your website and even test-call pretending they are interested in a property.

The ones with a sign in the yard seems more legit and not being sold by some investor pretending to be the real homeowner.