I know one person that did this recently and was able to negotiate no money down and 12% over 5 years but this was probably in the mid west.

I personally think this is the direction booking sites need to go.

I've consistently written about the forces of nature and her current and future effects on the real estate market (even while often being ridiculed and politicized on this very site for it) regardless: I personally moved and invested in coastal Oregon in 2018 from Venice Beach Los Angeles partly as a result of the trajectory of climate and have assisted several clients that specifically purchased on the Oregon Coast for their own 'climate havens,' investment and future retirement homes. 

I need all the friends I can get since I currently only know one person (who I don't really know).

Not worth it if you have to feed the thing.But again, what are your personal goals to investing.

I also use their virtual credit cards which enables me to assign a card to a specific person, like the cleaner for my STR for example, so when she runs a charge, it automatically drops into the right account in terms of categorizing my expenses.

You are still personally guaranteeing the loan.And you did the right thing by putting the assets into an entity, especially if there is equity.

this is only a good idea if you have reason to believe that the area will be appreciating quickly, which is called speculation and akin to gambling not investing. me personally, I would rather put my money on black than bank on market appreciation. negative cash flow rentals are a time suck and money suck.

Where would somebody find such a person that even gave a care???? 

Since the LTV on the hard money loan is high , I would personally purchase it using a bank statement loan at 85% LTV (15 percent down) and, as you mentioned, just use your cash for the rehab.