It was partially filled with water and there were cat of nine tails growing in the pool, and I saw a turtle and a snake in the pool.

First thing that comes to my mind is wrenches to turn off water and gas in case of an emergency, then depending on how much work or maintenance your going to do, myself I do everything so I also have a truck with lumber racks and fully loaded toolbox with saws, levels, drills etc.Usefull stuff like snakes to clear drains.

PVC or nothing, don't use that cheap flexible stuff since it's darn near impossible to snake if the time ever comes.

I would really appreciate guidance and would love to be able to even call someone over the phone and really hash everything out.What I'm looking for most of all is for someone to immediately see this and go "no way Jose this guy is peddling snake oil."

Plumber snaked camera into pipe from toilet and identified broken pip with water popped where it shouldn’t be.

I just recently got a plumber to come and snake the drains.

I do no money down through the combined use of seller financing and HELOC but the reality is that I have the money to back the dealThe more money you have the less money you need.When you are first starting out the "no money down gurus" are selling snake oil.

Something that I've noticed, that really frustrated me, are the snake oil salesman in real estate investing. 

Squirrels and birds you can deal with, down here we have to worry about snakes and that sort as well. 

We then had house guests scheduled and I wanted to get that bathroom working.I tried everything I could think of (snaking drains, making adjustments) but couldn’t fix it.