Arlington County recently relaxed the regulations on accessory dwelling units, and there is a process in place where you could request to build an in-law suite.

Plus real estate is relaxing compared to stocks in my mind.

Guys relax.

Also as a side note you should be proud of your bargaining skills, if those were indeed done by you, but reading between the lines it seems like you are instead trying to "flex your muscles" rather than presenting your case.

The current owners will be happy to sell (at a reduced price, of course), the laws will be relaxed, and the environmental policies will (hopefully) have been stabilized.Let it shake out, and take that time to learn as much as possible.

So, the timing is perfect for you to...save your cash to invest in highly affordable cash flowing midwest properties (yes, you can still get 2% in tertiary Midwest cities...but you should really have a team there who you trust) as soon as the market relaxes. 

I was told they wouldn't approve any loan that causes you to exceed the 43% debt to income.However, if you find a lender that can choose to use Freddie OR Fannie for underwriting, these rules relax a bit.  

also, is it a formal setting or is it more informal and relaxed?

In a very relaxed setting you are encouraged to interact with everyone else.

In a very relaxed setting you are encouraged to interact with everyone else.