I would just get the basics: sofa, coffee table, a set of pots and pans, dishes from a local discount store.  

The Bigger Pockets book store if full of great books: https://www.biggerpockets.com/store

Offer to pay his move (with a max price) and  maybe offer him a 1k  to start fresh (only with the comdition that you successfully acquire the property).

BUTThe big box stores will go out of their way to make you happy.

9) HUD Foreclosures: The HUD home store is a great source of investors.

The in-store, in-stock laminates are cheaper versions of the made to order, at least these days and at Lowes.

Joe's brother-in-law buying Joe's house at a short sale would be a huge red flag for fraud.I think the biggest arrow in your quiver is #1, and your most probable path to success is to order a fresh appraisal with a fresh opinion of value, and once it comes back go to your (or the end-lender's) appraisal department (not the AMC, the lender's internal folks) and argue that the new appraisal is more credible than the previous one because of #1 ("if the appraiser didn't even go to the comps for a quick drive-by photo, who knows what else he didn't even actually do?")

I'm thinking they are most likely seeing what's in at the paint stores and going with neutral colors.

The Bigger Pockets book store if full of great books: https://www.biggerpockets.com/store

I actually used to work at the small hardware store there in Plano and then at the nearby Home Depot in Yorkville!