Is their car a mess? 

If you move there, get owners home insurance, utilities in your name, not a landlord policy, move all your billing, medical, voting, car registration, etc etc there you should be able to prove you live there 6 months.

It was built in 1996 and has 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, and a 3-car attached garage.

Esp when listening to BP in the car.

Get a second job, sell your car and drive a beater, etc. 

I believe you would need to think first about parking - can it accommodate 6 cars with a combination or driveway and street parking?

However, I also have student loans of 123k with fixed interest from 4.3-6.3% and a car loan of 25k at ~8% rate. 

It's a pain to move off a website, especially if it has all your leads, CRM and marketing systems attached so they'll likely be a client for life.Offer eye-catching upsells to guests like concierge services, butler, car service, pet sitting, valet and parking. 

@Logan M.I bought a used car that was heavily smoked in, we used an ozone machine over night.

Don't just settle for a 0% return, that's like buying a fancy car with no engine—it might look good, but it ain't gonna take you anywhere financially.