My alternative is renting a crappy bedroom from someone else, which seems to start at 900$/m down the drain, and leave it empty most of the time.

That said, there are alternative property types that are in lower ranges. 

If you are looking to capitalize on the market, and DTI is not an issue, price reductions are a better alternative, since you can always refinance into a lower interest rate.  

Because with detailed plans, examination of alternative causes and getting involved even when the trend is not favorable can make a person start making profits from real estate when he is old as well as when he is young.Good luck!

You’ll lose your shirt  Don’t forget your alternative.

The other alternative would be a DSCR loan to your entity with both or either as a personal guarantor. 

Financially it's almost always better to leverage but less so in higher interest rate environments when there are good investment alternatives, and not everything in life is or should be done for purely financial reasons. 

We continue to pursue alternative refinancing options and anticipate having a new loan closed within the next six months.

If building a relationship based on trust and offering multiple alternate solutions to prove my identity is demanding and "beotchy" then guilty as charged.

I guess I’m looking at alternatives options, if this is to hinder me acquiring in the future