In my area, $400 each month is going to be tough to find but not impossible. 

Most agree that this type of note is next to impossible to purchase, as a note.The servicer, who speaks for all of the owners, etc., is willing to negotiate a reduced payoff however. 

Or you could simply just include a flat fee in the rent and advertise the units having certain utilities paid for.Offering below list price is difficult (but not impossible) in western WA, so you need to identify other value add opportunities that will decrease expenses or increase cash flow.

If I leave the First alone will it be impossible to refinance the HELOC and re-subordinate it?

I've moved tenants out for multi-week timeframes in the past and summer has been virtually impossible to find long-term stay hotel rooms or short term rentals - too much demand from the vacation folks.I'm closing a ready-to-go vacant rental in 30 days I'd offer you, but sounds like the timing's not gonna work there. 

However, it is impossible to turn into the driveway when the house is on the right side of the road.

As you can seen in the photos, the faucet and drain are at the far end of an alcove, so it's impossible to move the drain stopper or turn the water on and off without being in the tub.

Giving all that money away is only going to make investing in real estate next to impossible by having such a slanted debt to income ratio .

Surely, it is not impossible to find a desperate seller or put in tons of offers on REO properties or something... right?

As Russel stated if they've sold off market deals it may be impossible to track.