As to some of your specific points, I don't really care if the meter is spinning (I can replace a main line for $800), I don't care if mice have chewed through wires (an electrician is $50/hour), I don't care if there are plumbing leaks (my plumber works for $50/hour), etc. -- I'm always conservative in my estimates, so if $2-3K worth of unexpected stuff comes up later, I've built in the padding in the budget.As for bigger stuff like a compressor being bad? 

I have been factoring these exemptions in my calculations as these chew up the returns.

I am concerned that you are biting off more than you can chew.  

I can’t go on to blame them for sitting alone, chewing without conversation, having no jokes to laugh at ECT.

More importantly, I would NEVER use this floor guy again, and I would give him a good chewing out for even mentioning the "M" word around my tenants.  

At least as to the latter, the time is far less, the commission will not be chewed up by the lender, and the outcome is much more certain.

It makes one wonder why he might target distressed properties at all..I've never done any wholesaling, and I've never bought a property from a wholesaler, but any grumbling I have about them picking up great deals just stems from my jealousy that I didn't get there first, and I'm sure many other complainers are chewing on the same sour grapes.

Squirrels chewed a hole in a facia board was another.

He drives a jacked up 4 wheel drive truck, chews tobacco, is big and burly, smells like diesel fuel, and has neck tats. 

-This is a lie because at no point did i try to fraudulently conduct business, i carefully explained everything to him in his language (Spanish) and have done everything in my power to make sure the deal goes smoothly and he gets what we agreed upon.There was many other lies that thanks to my ability to remain organized and keep track of everything i work on were also proven wrong... the detectives even went to my Brokerage firm where the owner/broker called me in to have a meeting, it started out with him chewing me up for what he believed to be a shady agent but after presenting my side of the story he was on my side and said there was absolutely no doubt in his mind that i was doing this correctly and had nothing but good intentions. he said the seller is just a lowlife who wants to get out of the contract to get more money somewhere else.