I’ve worked with several first-time investors, including out-of-state buyers like yourself, and it’s 100% possible to build a successful short-term rental (STR) business even when you’re managing remotely.

They recently renewed their lease, and it was in my intention to ask for the new renters insurance, and things got busy during the holiday season and I never took the time to ask them.

I'm looking for a new source of investors who are in the business of funding these deals.  

Your taxes are none of the ex wife's business and this would seem to address your concerns.I would also put her on notice that future requests for financial discovery will be two-way and if a discrepancy is seen in the other direction you will seek support from her.

Perhaps do a case study with a hypothetical deal you think is typical for what you are looking at and compare it to the alternative investments you might use and their expected returns.

Am I giving myself another job/business?

I am not sure what type of real estate investing you're considering, but it sounds like, with your family and busy job, you won't have a lot of time to be hands-on or personally involved. 

I asked him a lot of questions about the business and as soon as I got home I was doing research and joining RE forums focused on multi family.

They all went out of business , the good ones don’t want to manage small properties . 

What's a good IRR for this multi unit retail business?