This being said, I don't believe we'll be able to meet the income requirements to qualify for a conventional.This leads me to believe hard money or private lender is more the only option to get my foot in the door, use my business to make repairs at very good rates, build some equity then refi once the balloon is due. 

Usually it takes them weeks to respond and they come up with some crazy stuff like by business is paying for the trip and need to pay with a certified check outside the platform.

You should be going to real estate investor meetups to meet other, more experienced investors, instead of looking at markets farther away before you really know what you are doing.

To avoid going through the same poor experience, keep reading.Even if someone gives you a referral here, do NOT make the mistake of assuming that the PMC will meet your expectations, just because they met the expectations of the referral source.In our experience, the #1 mistake owners make when selecting a Property Management Company (PMC) is ASSUMING instead of CONFIRMING.It's often a case of not doing enough research, as they don't know what they don't know!

Looking forward to meeting likeminded people :) 

Not worth time & effort to go to court, your first meeting with an attorney will cost you as much as the rent.

Your specific variable expense assumptions are wrong, BUT you stumbled into them being correct overall.Also, you are approaching this correctly - entering in the numbers to generate a purchase price that meets your metrics:)

I use Baselane for my banking and bookkeeping platform and I really love how easy it is to set up accounts and sub-accounts for just such purposes.

Imagine a platform like Zillow, Redfin, Trulia, etc. where the seller can market their property while receiving assistance in offer recognition/negotiation.

I don’t know if the police would meet you there to arrest the criminal but that would just be icing on the cake.