At that point I realized since I have the money and I really take all the risk compared to ANY GC I am just going to control the process all the way through..

This aligns with my interest in passive income.I realize I am not cut out for the entire REI process of consistently finding multiple properties for particular exit strategies.

I realize you are close by geographically. 

I am realizing some of the gaps in my book knowledge and the practical knowledge required to see a deal all the way through.

this will likely be a good investment long term on IRR basis, but not realizing -5k/mo CF is very alarming.

It's really tough to start investing when you are 60 and realize in 30 years you'll be 90 (if you are lucky). 

I dont think the seller realized I was the lender either..

I've realized that I'm not looking to start another full-time career.

Even if they don't realize how much money you're costing them now, someone will tell them eventually and I don't think your canned wholesaling response is going to do much to repair the damage. 

Owners shop fees in the beginning, but once you're seasoned, you realize fees are usually about the same, and it's really process, procedure, culture, and communication that you're hiring.