Networking and asking others in your market may be your best bet.

My initial infant level of knowledge would tell me it's a combination of being poorly managed (I calculated they're spending nearly 65% on expenses to only have $305K NOI on 95% occupancy at $875/m, if that's even the average rent/unit currently occupied). 

High-demand areas with strong economic growth and low vacancy rates are typically safer bets.

He just said "now I don't feel appreciated, let's settle those favors I did you before we proceed any further" and sent me an invoice for $2K for the lost materials + time with the break-ins.Overall, the job seems to be ~80% complete but with poor quality, and I will absolutely need to hire someone else to fix his mistakes.

This whole argument of doing it one-self has stood on an assumption "it's EASY" and "Anyone can do it", which NO, that's not true, it's NOT easy and no not anyone can do it, anyone can try and most likely do it really poorly, with lots of screw-ups, and get into litigation which there ya go, that's 10X the cost an agent would have been. 

If that's not what you're looking for, Carrot sounds like a better bet (I'm not familiar with that product, just from what people are saying).

There's one thing, though - I bet it's 10X the BS of any other guru!

To avoid going through the same poor experience, keep reading.Even if someone gives you a referral here, do NOT make the mistake of assuming that the PMC will meet your expectations, just because they met the expectations of the referral source.In our experience, the #1 mistake owners make when selecting a Property Management Company (PMC) is ASSUMING instead of CONFIRMING.It's often a case of not doing enough research, as they don't know what they don't know!

I really see Columbus Ohio as an extremely safe bet for the next 10-20 years.

Your best bet is to list it in the open market (MLS) with a local agent, with the option of furnished or not, and be prepared to have to clear it out should a buyer not be interested in your personal items.