I had looked into cash-out refi-ing before, but ran into the ~548k maximum loan as a blocker (which in hindsight is puzzling, because it looks like the LA county jumbo loan threshold is ~822k)BONUS: What would you do in my shoes?

If you were in my shoes, wanting to buy a STR but need financing backup and intend on running the business yourself, how would you structure your business and why? 

I’d consider not flipping but getting something to hold in your shoes.  

It is super difficult for me to imagine being in your shoes but I hope this helps in some way!

However, there was a shoe rack on the door that I didn't pay much attention to until I was closing the door, right in front of my face was an ad**t toy.

Lockboxes, Flash Light, Hammer, Tape Measure, Clear Tape, Large Marker, Multi screw driver, shoe booties, boots, extra business cards, balloons, twine, sign riders (under contract, for lease, etc..) 

But if you look at it as property with 4% coc (which may be challenging to achieve) then it will be disappointing.In a city like Houston, I personally look at an owner occupant house as a depreciating liability - just like car, clothes, shoes, furniture - something that I will use everyday and hence I should like it as a place to live rather than an investment.

I’m just trying to see what would someone do in my shoes.

If I were in your shoes, I would contact local folks in the market you want to work in so you can figure out what is realistic in your market. 

One tenant and his cousin left pretty much all their stuff (an amazing amount) and the other tenant got most of her stuff out but left the big screen and lots of shoes (I'll donate the shoes to a thrift store).