Get out of the kitchen and start waiting tables.

I agreed to bring 5k more to the table, but that's my best and final.

If they say yes then see what they can bring to the table; time, money or experience.

Update the appraisal, update the prelim, and finally go out of and back into contract 5 minutes later at the same table. 

Update the appraisal, update the prelim, and finally go out of and back into contract 5 minutes later at the same table.

A lot of lenders may tell you the appraisal is free however its not free if you dont close you will still pay for the appraisal typically (its only free and credited back at the end or at the closing table).The other part is to make sure rates are where you want them to be (low enough).  

This seller is domed by ignorance, and it's not a viable choice for you until he comes to the table with something like an installment sale (aka owner carries the 1st td). 

Sure you might pay a little extra for the house but if you dont want to bring a bunch of money to the closing table, it is worth it. 

I'd like to use the cash offer to get the owner to the table, but get the deal financed.

$3k or so, plus $13k that she's going to bring to the closing table, when she can't make the monthly payment, and she's getting ready to deploy?