New construction does not get a bump on appraisals.So for me buying an older home that I can fix up is a MUCH better value and I get instant equity when I buy and even more after I rehab the property.

And I’d like to build the single family home and refinance with a dscr loan.would anyone have any advice on this or suggestions 

That makes me even more suspect but that is just me.

Once you have a deal they will guide you through the process and even help you attain the funding with out coming out of pocket or using your personal credit.

BP is not a great place to air out is this coach good or that program good.. as you stated 90% of the people on here are single minded they relate everything to owning a cash flow home and everything else is just gambling or guru speak or whatever..

Where would I even find a team? 

Even if you want to roll the dice, at least is a calculated risk, not a surprise down the road. 

I recommend you budget 5% of the gross rent (for the whole place, even what the rent would be if you were living in it as a tenant) for repairs and 5% for capital expenditures.

And this might indeed require some time to pass before doing that.You could still create a single member LLC with either you or your wife as member. 

You could do General Contracting where you'd need knowledge of all trades or manage a team of one single trade.