I would be interested in taking less of a slice to actually make something happen. 

I’m interested in taking control of my 401K and using the funds to finance my real estate investments.  

Your risk here is probably minimal in taking title if the most recent quit claim deed was over a few years ago.

I also offered to buy silicone ice trays2) sprinklers don't water the lawn evenly causing certain area saturate with water: repaired3) basement shower head occasionally dripping water: repaired 4) master bedroom ceiling light/fan turned on by itself at nights: repaired5) gas fireplace flame is smaller than optimal: ignored6) water accumulating on window wood sills: turns out they set humidifier at 60% indoor causing condensation7) Kids bathroom toilet water tank - slow water intake: repaired8) unused rifle bullet found on the sidewalk - tenant was very agitated: I went to the sheriff's office and was told it's hunting season and someone probably dropped it. 9) Washer making loud metal banging noise. - Manufacturer attempted to repair three times and eventually I managed to get a new washer under the warranty, but the delivery was such a headache because tenant refused to let us in if they were not home.

Cash for keys may be a better option (pay the tenant to leave).I'm not sure hiring a property manager will solve your issues...Good PMs are very, very rare (and often, good PMs have no interest in taking on a single house with a deadbeat tenant and a distressed owner--they have bigger, better fish to fry).

Through this journey, you will start to build a realistic criteria/buy box and you’ll be jumping in taking action.

In the past, I have employed comparable strategies with intake processes and I guess I was looking to see if anyone here had a process that worked for them. 

Whether that's a fix and flip, BRRR, or long-term rental.And one more note: I already have a firm interested in taking me on (VanderLeest Properties), and another that's going to be interviewing me (Impact).

@Justin Anspach, I'm a big believer in taking every tax free opportunity every time I can. 

A thought I had was to pay an HVAC contractor to shift the furnace to the center of the room, but it's directly over the intake, which is currently in the living room.