The fact that this was a professedly religious person twisted my brain in knots even further.  

I'll bet any real estate attorney there will be friendly, they get even friendlier when you pay them.If you mean those that advise you not to do some screwy, dumb. stupid, hair-brained, unconventional, guruized, scamming or illegal activity, they aren't being unfriendly, to the contrary, they are probably being very friendly keeping you out of trouble you can't afford to get into.Call Realtors in the area and get references for a good RE attorney, see who the Board of Realtors uses or has used, ask your lender for the names of three good ones.Forget about trying to get a good attorney to advise you to do things you shouldn't be, adapt your methods and strategies to their advice!

There are WAY too many opportunities out there (ones that are easier and will make more money) for you to be racking your brain on this one.

Reading thru J Scott's book on House Flipping.Searching for some local inexperienced investors to see if I could help them out in some way in exchange for picking their brain. :-)

It's always a good thing when you can pick the brains of people who have more experience.

I am not new to real estate, but I am new to the area and would love to pick a seasoned agent or investor's brain in exchange for some light office work or something of that nature.

Pick their brains about the local market, other properties, whats happening in the area, their RE interests, etc,etc.

My brain really hurts.

Doesn't take a brain surgeon to make those work.

The problem is that anyone with a brain could read that and think that you're trying to scam them.