Can anyone explain how I could have both and what that entails?

Residential 1 to 4 units is relying on the borrower for repayment which entails ability to repay (income) and  willingness to repay (credit history).In either of the above there is no specific lender that is "first & foremost above all others" unless you or the financed property don't fit into the conventional "bank quality" type of borrower or property.

depends. this money can be a beginning to a lucrative business or a bad decision. you should look at your exit strategy. those strategies should entail making a profit. that defines your risk. more iffy decisions (speculative) should be more about the money you have saved out of your own pocket. we are waaay more safe about that money. lol. why not refinance and pull the money out. why a heloc??

From a personal experience, I'll add that my preference is to multifamily due the the economy of scale, which basically entails that you can achieve more with the same amount of resources and time by going with multifamily. 

Ask about what their system entails.

This entails sending letters and yes, cold calling. 

Then consider what predatory dealing and lending entails, many set predatory arrangements totally unaware of the consequences or meaning to do so.You didn't define a class D borrower, if A gets a loan and B can get one within a year, then C must have other issues and D seems to be down the list without any chance of getting financing in 2 years, probably more like 4 or even 5, perhaps 7 to allow stuff to drop off a credit report.

I have a friend that is similar to you size wise-she has 27 units-and has done at least 30 flips (that I know of, probably more) and she's stopped doing flips recently as she is burned out working with the construction workers and the headaches that that entails.

I don't want to discriminate (even if it is legal) against Section 8 recipients; I'm just scared of the Federal red tape and what it might entail.

My question is that you see these shows (and I realize they don't show all the details of what flipping a house really entails), and they just KNOW that they can take this wall down or add this feature or that feature.I was hoping someone would have great blogs or books or forums that would help teach me to see what a property "could be" and to find vision.Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated!