I clean my own house, can I bill myself for that and then write-off all of my cleaning supplies against it? 

If you do not qualify, you would then look into if you would qualify with renting your departing residence. 75% of the lease will be used to offset that departing residence mortgage. as you mentioned the timing of renting the place can absolutely be tricky so you would hope you do not have to do this.Finally, and I guess would be sorta of a trick, but we do bridge loans on occasion in this case IF you can qualify once you get the property rented at market value even if debt to income ratio is too high before it is rented.

If they don't disclose it to the new buyer, then have them close. 

Even in ChatGPT, you can ask about a property and it will pull in latest data, then you can ask to do any kind of analysis on top.

With other mobile homes when it comes time to sell and if I need the cash then I give a low price so that I can sell for cash.

Or find a deal first then market it to buyers, then offer on the house and create an agreement with the seller & buyer?

Why then do they pay $35,000 to obtain what’s basically a sales position?  

Then when you see some tractions or close some deals, you can reinvest in your website.

Then BOOM, the HVAC unit goes out week two of a tenant's lease, and has to be replaced quickly.

Quote from @Jaren Taylor: Quote from @Chris Mason: If you have the ability to market and raise money, then you secure the down payment, and do the normal commercial mortgage process.