All sounds good...my best purchases were from people with “ past substance issues”.  

Perhaps substance use is involved?

This I refer to as a "cash like substance". 

They sound great and get you enthused, but offer nothing of substance that you can practically apply to get paid. 

Tenant acknowledges the premises are designated as smoke-free and agrees not to smoke and will not allow any of their family or guests to smoke on the premises, either inside the unit or outside on adjoining grounds.Tenant agrees to abide by this no-smoking policy.This includes smoking tobacco, marijuana, any other substance and/or vaping chemicals.

You also know she's smoking in the unit (doesn't matter if it's a legal substance or not; smoking shouldn't be allowed indoors). 

When the home inspector walks through, and if he can find ANYTHING of substance that causes alarm, you can then further negotiate for seller credits. 

Tenant agrees not to place into any drain lines of the Premises any non-approved substances, such as cooking grease,sanitary napkins, diapers, children’s toys or other similar object that may cause a stoppage.

To get technical, you will be going up against the Economic Substance Doctrine which states that a transaction has economic substance if: (1) the transaction changes in a meaningful way (apart from Federal income tax effects) the taxpayer’s economic position; and (2) the taxpayer has a substantial purpose (apart from Federal income tax effects) for entering into such transaction.By transferring your primary residence into a LLC, you would not be changing your economic position.

Will they actually teach anything of substance?