A relative who does long-distance real estate investing told me that I have to sign the final loan document and the transfer of ownership document in person.

Promissory notes are transferred by endorsing the back or a document called an allonge.

When you pay the invoice/expense in the AP queue (i.e. transfer funds from your operating account to the AP/CC account) it show as a payment for a specific expense/invoice?

That should never happen.We also discussed the option of selling your property or even transferring management. 

You're only talking to banks.

Would it be possible for my wife to transfer the house/deed into her name (or buy the house, etc.) so we can take a loan against it to help pay for the memory care?

For example, Columbus or Huntsville, AL has come up a bunch of times but I’d have to transfer.4.

Here is their description and note site Their terms state: "With whole note investments, the investor transfers the complete loan amount and is the sole owner of the 1st position on the loan.

They collect EMD from multiple potential buyers - then transferred the EMD into an interpleader accounts in hopes of absconding with all the EMD. 

If your 5th deal is good, you should be able to find funding outside the banking industry.