Go crazy, one year we made cards for a Halloween party with things on them like "do the chicken dance, make an orgasm noise, take a shot, give someone a hickie" and we shuffled them up and handed them out at the door. the throughout the night you could give the card you were given to anyone at the party and they had to do whatever it said on it right then and there no matter where we were (you can also just put all the cards in a hat and make people draw them throughout the night since you're the birthday boy).

And I have to figure it out pretty quick so things don't grind to a halt.

I take great care of my buildings and market them as per allergy free, and attract tenants that don’t like pets (smell, noise, etc. ).

Any property close to airports or other noisy areas where you can't control the noise.

I am open to considering something equally cheesy (Don't tell him I said that.) that makes a noise.

Same admin fees applied to picking up the yard, collecting late payments, answering police calls or neighbors calling due to noise complaints, etc.

You're in a great position, stick to the grind.

So why not be as specific as possible about what you do want alerts for, and literally filter out the noise?

@Joe KimUnless you bought the Taj Mahal, the tenants will only notice the noise when not at work.

KEEP GRINDING!