Once they dictate the rules, they end up in the power position.

Most private lenders dictate their own lending terms, so I would start by seeing what they want.

I told them that those funds will have to be used for the plumbing expense they owe me since it is an older charge.Can they dictate where the money is used? 

If they don’t extend, your exact contract language dictates what happens with your EM. 

As Tim mentioned, those are dictated in the bylaws.

Taking the average of 5 comps is one way to have a decent ARV (not too aggressive and not too conservative), however, your specific market and your level of rehab will dictate if you get the top price or the "average/median" price of the comps.

Markets dictate price. 

I will do what the market dictates I do at that time.

Hopefully your lease dictates cleaning procedures upon move out as well as showing procedures for the landlord.

I know it is very competitive out there right now, and I also know that the criteria I've given her should dictate what comes to me on the automated feed, but I was hoping for a little more help.