As a software engineer myself (17 years experience) I can say the biggest issue with almost all these big companies is that they're unwilling to pay higher salaries. 

If one or both of you are stubborn and unwilling to compromise on business issues, you can do some real damage to your relationship.Only you and your spouse can make that judgment, but on general principle, I'm not in favor. 

If he/she is still unwilling to consider that, I'd recommend moving on.

first GC didnt have water main repaired in crawl space. this led to moisture problems that cost an extra 3k in costs that he was unwilling to address.

Even if it's in the $100,000-$150,000 range, I'd still trade places with you.There are millions on millions of people in your shoes who, like me, will spend year after year after the age of 31 dead from the neck up about money, unaware of how dire their financial problems are, unwilling to change.

you've only mentioned one small means of production, just go do something else and be successful.there are LOTS of things people do for money all the time that I'm unwilling, many time because of ethics, it doesn't slow me down at all.

Also, finding out about it the day before closing made me even more unwilling to back out.

It'll be notarized & recorded at the county (assuming a HML with an IQ greater than potato) and the underwriter will condition for all relevant loan docs and a "verification of mortgage" from the HML (who half the time are unable/unwilling to fill it out properly).

They told me the reserve and I was unwilling to pay that amount.

To demonstrate what I mean, I'd buy every property I could for 10X what it is worth if I get seller financing and pay only $1/mo.Assuming they seller is also unwilling to offer you good terms, my feeling is that you should move on.