Do you have ANYONE you trust on the ground here that can see it through and do it correctly?

That's my stomping grounds my Dad had a real estate company in Lake co just north of Napa ( you probably familiar) started in the mid 60s so we have been going through Napa valley up Silverado trail all these years.. 

This sounds very disorganized, doesn't give me confidence in your builder - the HOA legal (s) should have been ready when they broke ground.

If the tenant causes a fire (tenants burnt my great grandma's house to the ground) the insurance may very well not pay.  

They can be your "boots on the ground" and help ease any fears you may have about remote investing.

Regarding the comment above on fire sprinklers -- the state ADU law says that they should only be required if the main house as sprinklers, and that will be the case whether its a conversion, an addition, or a fully ground up unit.

a free ride while myself sacrificing $500/mo seemed financially irresponsible.Boyfriend/girlfriend relationships and living together for the first time are the proving grounds for deciding whether 2 people are compatible for marriage or long term partnership.

Ground Up Construction loans (for 1-4 unit investment properties).The principals of 11 Capital Finance have been in the commercial lending business for over 20 years and know how to properly advise a borrower on any type of commercial real estate transaction.

Then I actually looked down at the ground near my feet.

The dog frequently reacts to any of my activity near the fence and barks and lunges at the fence where the lower horizontal rail has been bulging outward for a long time.