November 16th, 2019 update
I was sick last week so not much got accomplished. The wife was sick too. Essentially we quarantined the house, boarded up the windows, bought in enough Nyquil, Dayquil and whiskey to last us a week and hunkered down. My health is very important to me. Friday I was feeling good enough to go back to the house and get some stuff done. I would say I was at about 83.79% health with cold medicine in me. Now I normally only have about 12 really good brain cells to work with so doping them all up on cold medicine really didn’t do me any favors. Oh well, what could possibly go wrong…
- (No real need to number here, all I got done was one thing) Painting. God why do you hate me so much. Its painting. This entire post should say I painted. End of story. Painting is easy. Why do I have a story for painting? Whoever is out there hoping and praying for more rehab follies please stop.
So I actually primed, not painted. I know right? Who primes before painting with all those wonderful paint and primer in one paints out there. Well you have to sell a kidney for a gallon of that crap so I wanted to let the cheapO stuff, AKA primer, soak into the new texture and drywall. Plus you know, that’s actually how you are supposed to do things. Will Tim be rewarded for his use of painting best practices? If you just answered yes you clearly haven’t been following along.
I used a sprayer for the first time ever. Ha, I think everyone reading this has already formed a hilarious mental picture of some sprayer mishap. Don’t worry, you wont be disappointed. So I use a sprayer. I really went all out on this one and spent $30 on it. Top of the line, spared no expense. Hey it was on clearance so technically it’s a $110 sprayer. I set it up, easy enough and turn it on. Whoa it just starts spraying paint with no trigger involved. I thought that was weird for this top of the line model but then figured it was just how these high end sprayers work. So I am going along doing just fine. I even started on a closet so I could learn in a safe environment. Braincells 3 and 4 were awake for that one. Its really slow going. The paint is coming out but its like Im slowly airbrushing the walls. Veeeeerrrryyyyyyyy sllllllooooooowwwwwllllllyyyyyyy. I did ¾ of the closet like this. Finally I got mad. What a piece of S. sprayer, this is actually taking longer than hand rolling would take. Why would anyone use one of these…….Waaaaaaaait a min. Why would they then? Braincells 5 and 6 decided to wake up. I check the instructions (always do that last everyone, it saves lots and lots of time that way) and don’t see anything Im missing. Whatever, I continue on and decide I will do the closet only with the sprayer. I pick it up again and BOOM paint comes shooting out. What the heck?! Yeah, I pulled down the trigger. I actually missed the trigger originally. How flipping stupid do you have to be to miss the trigger. So needless to say things went a lot faster after that.
Oh but wait. You didn’t think that was it did you? Not a chance. Apparently aerosolized primer creates this sticky film. It gets in the air and on everything. And by everything I mean everyone. As in me. And Im a hairy guy. Imagine a 3yr olds hands after eating a popsicle on a hot July day. Now imagine if those hands were a 6ft tall hairy dude. Yeah, that’s what I was feeling. All over. Good times. And I was only 1 room of 5 down. Luckily I had a full body coverall suit I could put on. Future problem solved. However I got to stew in my own stickiness for the next several hours. Don’t worry everyone, there is still more. Because of course there is.
The Aerosolized primer is also very potent in the chemical smell area. And im assuming if I smell chemicals then there are plenty of chemicals in the air. That’s math everyone. If A=B and B=C then climate change is real. But don’t worry, I kept all the windows and doors firmly locked tight and didn’t use a gas mask. More best practices. By the time I was done I was feeling really messed up. Cold medicine plus a primer high is not good times people. 0 out of 10 would recommend. While its funny, its also a little bit stupid on my part.
One last minor thing. If you put the gun down and turn it off before it is empty it just kind of spits up paint like a baby spitting up food. Where is the pressure coming from? Why would you build in this design feature. Well there are some very nice looking primer white areas of my floors now. Excellent coverage.
Will I be using the sprayer again? Shmaybe. I primed about 4 rooms and a brick wall in 4 or so hours. So I think I made good time. It was only primer coverage though so quick and dirty. Ha, whether I was trying for quick and dirty or not that’s what I got. I will say that it was excellent at spraying the fireplace. I have a full wall of brick that needed priming before painting (that’s just good practice people) and if I had to do that with a roller or brush it would have taken at least 2X as long. I have that same chimney outside (kinda how those things work) so will probably keep it only to paint that. Otherwise this was for sure not a good time. And I would have been royally screwed if I was doing final painting. It was not precise. Whats that? Did I tape. Come on people, do I sound like the kind of guy who tapes first?
- Oh oh oh, sexy new black gutters are in too! So I did need to number paint 1!

Primed brick wall

This is totally how a sprayer should look after only one use right?

"Storage Case" I got for the sprayer when I am done with it.

Sexy new gutters!