You’ve probably heard all sorts of advice in your life — some of it helpful, but most of it just nonsense. You’ve been told to follow your passion, wait for the “right time,” and keep everyone around you happy. Let’s be real: all of that is BS. It’s not only wrong; it’s keeping you stuck and miserable.
At 41, I’ve learned the hard way that real success isn’t built on the fluffy stuff you hear in motivational speeches. It’s built on discomfort, action, and the courage to break free from the lies that keep you average. Now, I’m going to share 20 truth bombs that I wish someone had told me in my 20s — whether I would’ve listened or not.
Take a moment to reflect as you read through these.
Ask yourself: Am I guilty of this? How can I change it?
1. Finding Your Passion is Trash Advice
Reflection: Have you been chasing your passion, convinced that it’s the key to success?
Here’s the harsh truth: passion doesn’t lead to success. It follows success. If you’ve been waiting for the stars to align and for your “passion” to appear, it’s time to stop. You need skills, a solid plan, and the ability to solve problems that people will pay for. Think about your current career path. Are you focusing on developing a skillset that pays well? Or are you stuck waiting for inspiration?
Action: Identify one skill you can improve this month. Focus on mastering it, and watch how your passion follows.
2. No One Gives a **** What You’re Doing
Reflection: Are you constantly worried about what others think of your choices, especially the big risks you want to take?
Chances are, nobody cares as much as you think. The “Spotlight Effect” makes us believe people are watching our every move, but most are too busy with their own lives. Have you hesitated to make moves because you fear judgment?
Action: What’s one risk you’ve been avoiding because of fear of others’ opinions? Go take it today.
3. Get Comfortable with People Not Liking You
Reflection: Are you the type to bend over backward to make everyone happy, even if it means compromising your values or true self?
Here’s the deal: not everyone will like you, and that’s totally okay. Trying to please everyone means you’ll end up pleasing no one — especially yourself. Are there people in your life whose opinions hold you back? It’s time to be okay with letting them go.
Action: Identify someone you’ve been trying to please unnecessarily. Is it worth your energy? Let them go, and focus on building relationships with people who support you.
4. Your Comfort Zone Is Slowly Killing You
Reflection: How often do you choose comfort over growth? Are you avoiding challenges or sticking to what’s easy?
The truth is, comfort zones are traps. They stop you from growing and evolving. Sure, they feel safe, but nothing happens in safety. Do you have something you’re avoiding because it feels uncomfortable or risky? That’s exactly where you should be.
Action: Pick one area of your life where you’ve been playing it safe and take a step into discomfort. Sign up for that course, launch that side hustle, or speak at that event you’ve been avoiding.
5. Work-Life Balance is a Myth
Reflection: Are you obsessed with the idea of achieving perfect balance, dividing your time equally between work, rest, and play?
Here’s the reality: balance doesn’t exist. Life is about managing your priorities, not splitting your energy evenly. There will be times when you need to grind hard, and times when you can take a breather. Have you been trying to balance everything perfectly? How’s that working out for you?
Action: Reassess your priorities. What needs more of your energy right now? Focus on that, and embrace the unbalanced grind.
6. Failure Isn’t Fatal
Reflection: Do you fear failure so much that you’re avoiding risks or not taking action at all?
Here’s the truth: failure is a part of the journey. Every successful person has faced failure, and it’s not fatal — it’s feedback. Have you failed recently? How did you react? Did you learn from it or shy away from the next challenge?
Action: Embrace failure. Take a risk this week and reframe any mistakes as valuable lessons rather than setbacks.
7. Not Every Opportunity is a Good Opportunity
Reflection: How often do you find yourself distracted by shiny new opportunities that don’t align with your long-term goals?
Here’s a fact: not all opportunities are created equal. Some are just distractions. It’s easy to get excited by the next big thing, but will it take you closer to your vision? Are you currently chasing something that’s not aligned with your bigger picture?
Action: Get clear on your long-term vision and start saying no to anything that doesn’t align with it. The right opportunities will start presenting themselves.
8. Don’t Wait for Permission or Approval
Reflection: Do you often find yourself waiting for someone else to give you the green light before making a move?
The truth is, you don’t need anyone’s permission to go after your dreams. Waiting for approval is procrastination in disguise. Have you been waiting for someone else’s approval? Or have you been holding yourself back out of fear?
Action: Identify something you’ve been waiting for approval to do. Take action today without waiting for anyone’s permission.
9. Comparison Is the Thief of Joy
Reflection: How much time do you spend comparing yourself to others, especially on social media?
Comparison is toxic. It’s easy to look at someone else’s success and think they have it all figured out, but remember — you’re comparing their highlight reel to your behind-the-scenes. Are you wasting energy comparing your journey to someone else’s?
Action: Unfollow anyone on social media who makes you feel less than. Focus on your own progress, and use others’ success as fuel — not as a measure of your failure.
10. Take More (and Bigger) Risks When You’re Young
Reflection: How many risks have you taken in the last year? If you’re in your 20s, have you been playing it safe?
You’ve got time and less to lose. This is your time to take big risks. The younger you are, the more room you have to make mistakes, learn, and come back stronger. Are you holding back from a big move because you’re afraid?
Action: Identify a big, risky move you’ve been afraid to make. Whether it’s starting a business, investing in yourself, or taking a career leap — do it now. You’ll recover faster than you think, and the lessons will stick with you forever.
11. Gratitude is the Secret to Happiness
Reflection: Are you chasing happiness through external achievements, always striving for more?
You’re probably chasing happiness in all the wrong places. Happiness doesn’t come from money, success, or status — it comes from gratitude. When you’re grateful for what you already have, you stop obsessing over what you don’t. Gratitude shifts your perspective. Instead of focusing on problems, you focus on possibilities. Grateful people are more resilient, more resourceful, and more likely to succeed.
Even today, I’m moving towards BIG goals, but I remind myself how far I’ve come, the incredible family and friends I have, my health, and the countless other amazing things in my life.
Action: Start every day by appreciating what you already have. It won’t just make you happier — it’ll make you unstoppable.
12. Ask Questions. Ask for Help. Get a Mentor.
Reflection: Are you too proud to seek advice or assistance, thinking you need to figure everything out on your own?
Successful people don’t succeed alone. They ask questions, seek advice, and surround themselves with people who’ve already done what they’re trying to do. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s a sign of strength. It shows you’re serious about leveling up.
In my 20s, I rarely asked questions. I tried to figure everything out myself. It stymied my growth. Today, I invest tens of thousands of dollars every year in coaches and mentors.
Action: Find someone who has the answers you need. Ask for help, seek a mentor, and learn how to fast-track your growth.
13. Don’t Wait for “The Perfect Moment”
Reflection: How many times have you waited for conditions to be perfect before taking action?
There’s no such thing as the “perfect moment.” Conditions will never be ideal. If you keep waiting for everything to align, you’re wasting your time. Successful people start before they’re ready. They take messy action and adjust as they go.
Action: Find an opportunity and take action today — don’t wait for the stars to align. Fortune favors the bold.
14. There’s No Such Thing As “The One”
Reflection: Are you waiting for a “perfect soulmate” to complete you, rather than building a relationship based on effort and mutual respect?
There’s no single magical person who’s going to complete you. The best relationships are built on effort, communication, and mutual respect.
Action: Focus on building a strong partnership, not searching for perfection. Work together and build something great.
15. Time Moves Faster Than You Think
Reflection: How often do you waste time on things that don’t really matter? Are you living in a way that acknowledges how precious time really is?
Time is your only non-renewable resource. The problem is, most people act like they have all the time in the world. They waste days and put off their dreams until it’s too late.
Action: Stop wasting time. What’s one thing you can start today that will make a difference in your future? Do it now.
16. Learn How to Be Alone
Reflection: How much time do you spend in solitude, disconnected from distractions and other people?
Being alone isn’t loneliness — it’s clarity. Real growth happens when you embrace solitude. This is where you discover what drives you and what you truly care about.
Action: Spend more time alone this week. Reflect, think, and learn to enjoy your own company.
17. Cut Out People Who Don’t Elevate You
Reflection: Are there people in your life who drain your energy, rather than help you grow?
Keeping toxic people around is like drinking poison. Your environment determines your success. If someone isn’t adding value to your life, they’re holding you back.
Action: Identify toxic relationships and cut them loose. Surround yourself with people who elevate you.
18. “Finding Yourself” Is a Waste of Time
Reflection: Have you been spending too much time “searching for yourself” without taking action?
You don’t find yourself — you build yourself. Growth takes work. People who spend years searching for answers are usually just avoiding the hard stuff.
Action: Stop searching and start building. Take action today to create the best version of yourself.
19. Stop Following Your Heart and Listen to Your Brain
Reflection: Are you letting emotions and impulsiveness lead you, especially when it comes to big decisions?
Your heart can’t think, but your brain can. Use logic and reason to guide your decisions, and let your heart be a gut check. Emotional decisions often lead to regret.
Action: Next time you’re faced with a big decision, take a step back. Use your brain to analyze the situation, then trust your instincts.
20. Your “Life Plan” Is a Waste of Time
Reflection: How attached are you to your long-term life plan? Are you open to change?
Life is unpredictable. Don’t get so attached to a life plan that you miss out on opportunities or can’t adapt to changes. The people who thrive are the ones who welcome change.
Action: Let go of rigid plans. Be flexible and adapt. Focus on resilience, not perfection.
There you have it. 20 truths that’ll hit you like a freight train. Life isn’t about comfort, approval, or waiting for perfection. It’s about taking risks, making moves, and doing whatever it takes to build something that actually matters.
You have two choices now: nod your head and keep doing the same thing, or take what you’ve learned and say, “I’m done with average — let’s ****ing go.”
No one’s coming to save you. It’s on you to make the leap and build the life you’ve been pretending you want. The clock’s ticking.
Learn more at http://www.raise.law
