Oh Ben you are a click bait master and wizard level forum troll and yes your points hit close to home.
I moved from Maryland to Texas a little over a year ago and rented out my home back there and I have a PM. I think he's a good PM but to be honest he makes more off my house than I do -- he makes his 10% regardless; I get stuck paying for the new oven. He certainly doesn't have to spend much time managing the property most months.
On the other hand, given the turmoil of moving twice in one year -- once into a rental and again into a house we bought, learning our way around a new city, and not knowing who to call when there's a problem because usually I would have either fixed it myself or ignored the problem when I lived there, I'm not sure I would self-manage that property if I did have the chance to do it over again. It's not a cash-flow deal, it's a hold-on-until-the-value-improves deal. I'm probably going to sell it next year while I can still get the capital gains exemption and after some development in the area is completed which I believe will bring the value up.
If I buy more property out of state (I'm considering it) I will try to manage it myself. What would be useful would be to find a property manager who's willing to work a la carte, "I'll pay you $50 every three months to inspect the property to make sure nothing's leaking and to replace the air filters"